I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
