She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
