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i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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