Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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