hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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