can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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