new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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