you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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