You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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