i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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