I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize