Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
