I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
