did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
