honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
