We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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