He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
