I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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