girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
is that a dick in a sweater?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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