Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
