K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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