Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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