Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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