Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
