I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
