Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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