Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
