i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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