Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize