i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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