she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
