Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
