when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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