The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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