dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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