so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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