your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.