I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!