There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.