It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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