you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
