I bet he comes in French.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
