so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We're too hungover to prance.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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