yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
