i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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