I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
