absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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