it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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