I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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