He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
