i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
