oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
