I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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