dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
