For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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