shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sarcasm needs its own font
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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