i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
