it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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