Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
