she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
