Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
